When A- Isn’t Good Enough

A-I’ve been feeling kinda A- recently.

In high school and college, I got a lot of A-’s. At that point, A- was a great grade (as long as you weren’t competing for valedictorian, which I wasn’t). It meant that I knew the material, but also that I was human and didn’t necessarily know it all. An A- was good enough–even for a perfectionist.

In “the real world,” we’re not graded. Not with letter grades, anyway. But we’re still judged. Recently I have had a couple of submissions rejected with feedback like, “We recognized your submission as competitive, but we wished for more _______.” In other words: “almost, but not quite.” In other words: A-.

Here’s where the A- wasn’t good enough. It meant that my application did well enough to be noticed, but not well enough to actually get the item.

And now I’m struggling with the A-. I am struggling because I see the pattern of A-’s throughout my life, and I’m tempted to define myself with the A-. It has taken me almost two weeks to write this blog post and work my way to the truth.

The truth is that I am not defined by what I do. I am not defined by what I have accomplished or attained. And I know this. I know this to be true.

But in the wake of rejection, in the wake of seeing my shortcomings, I forget.

On the day of the second major rejection–the day my husband quite frankly didn’t want to be around me because I was a dark cloud of angry mess–I remembered the current title of this blog: imperfectly whole.

The name of this blog is code for “A- IS good enough.”

Because the truth is, I am good enough–and, honestly, my work is good enough. Applications are tricky things because they are competitive, and inevitably someone else will be “better,” or will have an idea that resonates more with the reviewers.

If not this, then something else.

This, I guess, is one of the great comforts of walking with God. I know that to God, my A-’s are enough, and God will do something with those A-’s, even if I eventually put them away in a drawer and find something else to do.

As the image of God, I am full of infinite possibilities.

And so are you, no matter how you’ve been graded, or how you’ve graded yourself.

You are full of infinite possibilities, imperfectly whole, and a beautiful image of God. It’s still true, even when the dark cloud of angry threatens to downpour above your head.

We are on a scale where A- isn’t even an option. By God’s grace, we are beautifully enough, wonderfully whole.

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